I feel like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland – “Oh my ears and whiskers! I’m late, I’m late I’m late!” Today’s challenge comes from August 2nd. See, I really am late to the party! These questions could very well take me down the rabbit hole.
I’d like to think that this little girl’s short life hasn’t been tainted by any cruel outside forces. Mine was at such a young age. But since I am imagining here, I will say she is playing an innocent game of hide-n-seek. With her eyes carefully guarded by her hands, she is counting down – 1, 2, 3… when she reaches 10, she will gleefully come search for me. There will be no frightening clowns, no callous jokes, and no one will jump out to scare her.
As you can probably tell, I don’t like games. And I especially don’t like games that require me to close my eyes… think mudpies or the wispy white seed-plums of a dandelion being shoved down your throat. I learned early on that games were not fun. They were used as cruel pranks. Even playing cards or board games became power-brokering, temper-tantrum orgies between my siblings while I slunk away to somewhere quiet, usually the wardrobe in my bedroom. During grade school and high school, ‘friends’ liked to play games too. They’d start out as best of friends until someone new moved to town. Suddenly, they would vie for the new person’s attention and turn the new person against me – even if I weren’t seeking the new person’s attention, which I generally wasn’t. I learned that there wasn’t any such thing as a genuine friend, which is probably why to this day, I have so few of them. I’ve also had mates play games with my emotions and mental state – two of my past girlfriends, several past boyfriends and two husbands. Is it any wonder that I have been celibate for the past three years and no longer seek a mate?
Okay, I will admit that for a while in the early 2000s, I played a game called Vampires: The Dark Alleyway. As a writer, I was excited to build a character from scratch, complete with a 400 year history and have her interact with other characters. It was utterly fascinating to me, but even that didn’t end well. My character got blamed for something she didn’t do and got eviscerated – via the game and outside the game. These players didn’t just take my character through the bowels of hell, they took me, the creator, along with my character. I tried to change characters and begin again, but got discovered that I was the same creator behind the first character and again, my second character got harassed beyond measure. Finally, after 5 years of playing, I just stopped.
So, I’ve gone through all this rehashing and lessons learned to make one important statement. I don’t do games – not board games, internet games, cards, emotional or mind games. Period.