Red Yellow Green #NaJoWriMo

For today’s journal entry, keep three short lists of what I call, reds, yellows and greens.The reds are things you need to stop doing in your life. The yellows are things you don’t need to stop or start doing, but things you need to be cautious about. And the greens are for things you need to start doing, or do more of for keeping yourself growing, taking care of yourself, and reaching your potentials.

Red Lights:

1. Stop living with fear and doubt.
2. Stop procrastinating on important projects
3. Stop drinking so much caffeine

Yellow Lights:

1. Getting too close to the wrong people
2. Getting too caught up in perfectionism

Green Lights:

1. Get more sleep
2. Get better organized
3. Meditate more often
4. Eat healthier

 

 

Planning #NaJoWriMo

For today’s journal entry, revisit the first prompt for this month and select one of the items on your list for what you would like to change, revise, and improve upon your life. Go into detail about the item you selected. Perhaps make a plan and write what the possible challenges you might face and what ways you can deal with those challenges. 

I need to update my poetry and fiction binders. I’ve written so much in the last 2 years and have not printed and added the new things to the binders.

Currently I have two large binders, but they are filled with work from my college days. I need to finish organizing them before I can even think about adding anything new. I want to make two separate collections. One for me and one for a friend to have. Some of the college work will have to be retyped as I only have the original copies from the mid-late 90s.

Items I will need for the remainder of the project are:

• 4-6 new large binders
• extra ink
• a few reams of paper
• plastic page holders
• plastic dividers

I need to decide on a system for cataloguing the work – by year, by alphabetical order, or by theme.

I have over a 1000 pieces of poetry and fiction on my external drive. I need to get all of those printed and filed away.

I need to get into the habit of immediately printing off my work daily and adding it to the binders.

In order to do all of this on my meager income, I need to purchase a few of the items at a time. I will begin with the ink and paper since they are the most expensive and I cannot get anything else done until I get all of my work printed off.

Est. total cost of the project: $200

Projected start date: June 2016

(Note: if you would like to participate in this month-long journal writing activity, sign up for emailed prompts here)

 

New Surroundings #NaJoWriMo

For this today’s writing prompt, take some time and dream. If you had the money and/or time, describe how you would like to change your physical surroundings. What changes would you like to make to your home or apartment?  What type of furnishings would you like to change and add? Is there a color theme you want to use? What physical things do you want to get rid of or replace? How do you think these physical changes will affect you?

This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life lately. This imagining what I would do if I had money to do it with. I just recently won a $10 million dollar lottery, remember? Is the Universe trying to tell me something? I must listen closer!

So, if I had all the money I needed to improve/change my surroundings, I would move away from my current dwelling and go, yes… you guessed it… to Coastal Maine. I want a place that embodies that whole breezy Northern feel to it. White wash and ocean blue. A nautical scene or two. Maybe some lighthouse murals on my walls. I want comfy, plush furnishings and a huge bed to sink into. A library crammed with books. An artist studio filled with supplies. A writing studio with the latest gadgets. And a view overlooking the sea. Move me into a fictional town from Stephen King’s imagination (Haven will do!). I want to eat fresh caught lobster and fish til I am sick of it (will take years, I assure you!). I want to write, paint and walk the beach. Live a solitary life with just me and maybe a dog and a cat or two or three.

How about you, dear readers? What changes would you make to your surroundings if money was no object? Share your thoughts with me in comments.

(Note: if you would like to participate in this month-long journal writing activity, sign up for emailed prompts here)

Makeovers #NaJoWriMo

(NOTE: This post may cause triggers for anyone dealing with depression and having suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution.)

For today’s prompt, write about what the biggest or smallest makeover you’ve done in your life so far? What did it involve? What challenges did you face in achieving that makeover? Who helped you along the way? 

The biggest “makeover” in my life thus far has been having the desire to live. I’ve written here on this blog about my bouts of depression many times. Of how it sucked the will to live out of me and left me suicidal. For the better part of eight years, I wanted only to die. I felt like my life had no worth, that *I* was worthless and that I was a burden to everyone around me, especially to my husband who never tired of telling me so.

I have not talked much about the psychosis that I experienced during these tumultuous times. I hear voices all of the time. I have since I was a child. But the voices that I normally hear are from Catharine and Evelyn (my muses) and Stefano (my animus). However, when I was deeply depressed, I heard two other voices. Dark and deadly ones. One called himself Slash and the other I knew as merely The Demon. When I heard Slash’s voice, I resolved myself to cutting and burning my arm with a cigarette lighter. They were the only means I had of experiencing any sensation as I was completely numb. However, the pain only lasted a few moments and I would once again grow numb. When I heard The Demon’s voice, he would tell me that I was better off dead. It was because of those words that I attempted suicide 7 times. My pdoc put me on Risperidone, an anti-psychotic, but it merely masked the voices of my muses and animus and did very little to deaden the voices of Slash and The Demon.

In late 2012, I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer. Suddenly, I had an out, if I really wanted it. I could have allowed myself to wither away from cancer. Instead, I had an overwhelming desire to live. Luckily for me, during this time, my pdoc found an excellent cocktail of drugs for me and I also began seeing a new therapist. She taught me Mindfulness. The drugs kept Slash and The Demon away and the Mindfulness kept me grounded in the present. I was able to focus entirely on my health and beating cancer.

I still occasionally feel the darkness seeping in. I guess I always will. But I no longer hear Slash or The Demon. I also have the desire to be alive and the tools to remain so.

How about you, dear readers? What was the greatest “makeover” in your life? Share your thoughts with me in comments.

(Note: if you would like to participate in this month-long journal writing activity, sign up for emailed prompts here)

Knowledge Gained #NaJoWriMo

For today’s prompt, write about something you’ve recently learned that you didn’t know before, or didn’t fully understand? How was the new information helpful to you? How are you using that information?

I’ve put off all day doing this prompt. As an overly curious seeker of knowledge, you’d think this would be an easy prompt for me. And really, it should be, but somehow today, it’s not. You see, in the last few months, I have learned tons and tons of new information on a variety of topics:  the basics of horror writing, how to write film noir style whodunits, information on those I’ve chosen here for my People Who Inspire Me on A2Z, stuff on herbs and vitamins, low carb dieting, meditation techniques, and the list goes on and on and on. A lot of it was new information, some of it was just refreshers. All of it has been helpful. Some of it I’ve used and some of it is stored away for a later date. To zero in on one thing and discuss it at length just seems, well… exhausting. Mainly because I would have to go back through my research to dig up whatever information I’d want to share here. And frankly, I just don’t have the stamina today to do it. So, suffice to say, I am an active researcher, I am always seeking new knowledge, absorbing it, saving it, and moving on to another topic of interest.

How about you, dear readers? Have you learned something new recently that you didn’t know about before? Share your thoughts with me in comments.

(Note: if you would like to participate in this month-long journal writing activity, sign up for emailed prompts here)

 

Taking Care of Self #NaJoWriMo

Today’s journal prompt is write about or make a list of ways you’re taking care of yourself. What are you doing to maintain or improve your health? What are you doing for fun and relaxation? How are you making time for family and friends?

I’m not, or at the very least, not taking care of myself well. For 6 months, I was on a strict low carb/healthy fats diet. I went on this diet because it promised to do two things – lower my blood sugar and help me lose weight. Initially, it did both, but only in the first 2 months. I didn’t change my diet at all and kept a strict diet journal. I kept my carbs under 20 grams a day, kept my protein intake at a moderate level and my fats high. This was the formula. I quickly lost 22 lbs. I was ecstatic. My blood sugar had come down into the low 100s after being in the 200-300s. Everything seemed to be going well. Then during the 3rd month, after changing nothing, the weight began to climb back up, as did my blood sugar. I asked all of the experts and they had no explanation. The only difference was that I was staying up at night and sleeping during the day because I was doing a lot of writing. I’ve pretty much given up the diet for now after gaining back 11 lbs and my blood sugar staying in the 200s (with insulin *sighs*).

I also don’t sleep much. So I am sure that doesn’t help anything either. I would blame it on the caffeine, but even when I went decaf, I still couldn’t sleep. Unless I take medication, I usually stay up anywhere from 18-24 hrs before crashing. When I take sleep meds, I am groggy for up to 4 hours after waking up. As a writer, I cannot deal with the grogginess or brain fog from the medication.

I do meditate, but again, not nearly as often as I should. I do two forms of meditation. One in the morning using a guided audio and the other at night before I go to sleep called Ho’oponopono. Both involve deep breathing. They relax me when I do them, but they won’t help me sleep.

I lift weights and walk two or three times a week. I should be doing this daily, but I just can’t seem to work it in more than that. I need to at least lift weights once per day. I think I need to challenge myself and schedule both the weight lifting and the walking.

I make it a habit to brush my hair each night before I go to bed. When I suffered deep depression, I would go as long as a week without brushing my hair. I’ve had long hair now for the better part of 20 years and it gets tangled easily. Twice I’ve had to cut my hair to my shoulders in order to get out severe tangles.

I try to stay in touch with a couple of friends on a consistent basis. I can easily go months at a time without contacting anyone. I don’t have problems being alone, but there is a big difference between being alone and isolating one’s self. The former is healthy, the latter is not. So I reach out now that I am no longer depressed.

And finally, I journal. This is probably the best self-care I do for myself. It has become a daily practice to write something, anything first thing in the evening, which is my usual morning *laughs*

How about you, dear readers? What things do you do for self-care? Share your thoughts with me in comments.

(Note: if you would like to participate in this month-long journal writing activity, sign up for emailed prompts here)

Update, Revise, and Replace #NaJoWriMo

Today’s journal prompt is make a list of things you need to update, revise, transform, enhance, and replace in your life. Include both personal and tangible things.

1. My calendar because I still have dates/events on there that are now defunct
2. My wardrobe… I need a new look
3. My address book as there are still people in there that are either dead or out of my life for good
4. My art supplies as they are dangerously low
5. My Astraeus novella and make it into a novel
6. My social life as it is non-existent at the moment
7. I need to update my poetry and fiction binders. I’ve written so much in the last 2 years and have not printed and added the new things to the binders.
8. I need to reconnect with a couple of cousins as I’ve been so busy writing the last two months, I haven’t stopped to say hello to them in email or on FB
9. I have a couple of other blogs that I have sadly neglected and I need to do some updates on them
10. I really should update my tea collection. There are some that I brought with me from Oklahoma in 2014 that were already getting old then.
11. I need to renew my relaxation programs – yoga, meditation and ho’oponopono meditation
12. Spring cleaning – my dust bunnies are making babies
13. It’s been ages since I’ve communed with my spirit guides. I really should make that a weekly practice.
14. I need to get outside more and be one with nature.

(Note: if you would like to participate in this month-long journal writing activity, sign up for emailed prompts here)

April on As The Fates Would Have It

April is going to be a very busy month for me. I hope you will join me!

Here at As the Fates Will Have It, I will be writing about People Who Inspire Me for the A2Z and participating in the NaJoWriMo.

Over at  A Whispered Wind, I will post “small stones” daily and try to reblog as often as possible. Hump Day Poetry will also post each Wednesday! I may even posts some of my archived poems and stories occasionally. If you aren’t already following me there, you may want to consider doing so to keep up with the “small stones” and Hump Day Poetry!

And over at Promptly Written, things will be very very busy! I will be writing 26 original Science Fiction stories for the A2Z and 30 new poems for the April PAD Challenge (and maybe more as I also joined the NaPoWriMo!). If you are not following me there, you may want to considering doing so now so you won’t miss any of these exciting stories and poems.

See you tomorrow!