The Daily Me (Journal) Out of Reach – 12/11/2016

Today’s prompt comes from 100 Inspirational Journal Prompts by Melissa Bolton @ The Mogul Mom

Something seemingly out of your reach

My dream, goal and aspiration, and they aren’t seemingly out of reach, they are completely out of reach. I’ve discussed this before. My dream has always been to be a college professor, my goal was to be a published novelist and poet, and my aspiration was to live in Maine. A financial mix-up in college cracked my dream. Severe depression shattered my goal and aspiration. If the depression hadn’t manifested, I may have been able to overcome the financial issue. It would have taken a lot of hard work and a job outside of my dream, but at the time, I was only 33 and could still have become a professor by the age of 35 or 36. I had the grades for it and the backing of a few of my professors. But that damn depression – I couldn’t easily overcome it. And so, I gave into it and allowed it to consume my life for the next fifteen years.

Now at the age of 50 and with my health issues, I know I will never obtain the dream, goal or aspiration. I’ve had a few people (friends and therapists) tell me to chose a new dream, create new goals and aspire for something more obtainable. They say, stop looking at what never manifested and look forward to new possibilities. And I do try to do that now. I know my limitations and try to work around them. Depression is still a major part of my life and probably always will be. I no longer have a dream and honestly, I cannot think of a satisfactory one. I do have goals. I try to write one or two major pieces of work each year, although I no longer attempt to be a published writer. I still write poetry when the muses strike. And I dabble with art now and again. I no longer aspire for anything great, like living in Maine. I am fairly content just to live in Virginia for now. My life has come down to simpler terms these days – make it through the day depression-free and write when my health allows. These are reachable.

 

Inspired! – 11/26/16 #NaBloPoMo #CheerPeppers

For today’s Inspired! I came across this poem and found it inspirational. Thought you all might too:

Why Not You

Poet: Julie Hebert, © 2012

Growing up we are told many things,
One being, you can do anything.
But somewhere between child and adult,
Things change and we no longer sing.

Life takes on a whole different meaning,
From what we may have first believed.
We all get so caught up in what life expects,
And forget what we all could achieve.

Whoever told you, you weren’t allow,
To follow all of your dreams?
Was it someone who took away your dream,
Or was it you who was afraid of your schemes.

Whatever the reason, I now must ask,
Why not you, don’t you think
It’s time for you to take control of your life,
So you’ll be happy to look back with no regret.

Found here: http://www.wow4u.com/why-not-you/index.html

How does this poem make you feel, dear readers? Do you ever ask yourself what happened to your dreams? Or are you living them? Let’s discuss it in comments.

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Linking up with Nano Poblano

The Sandbox Writing Challenge #38 — Something Wonderful

I am a bit late this week. Calen asks us to use our imagination this week:

Imagine something wonderful happening to you in this house. What is it?

This beautiful home is situated in a small coastal town in Maine. It is my dream home and after finally making a living as a writer, I move into this home. I furnish it with old Victorian furniture, have a full library and a writing room. I celebrate with my writing friends here, having conversations over coffee. We hold workshops here, small intimate parties, and spend hours walking in the gardens discussing our favorite writers and poets. This is an idyllic dream come true. I can also see me with a partner in this home. Someone who shares my literary endeavors, a companion to live out the remainder of my days with.

02.16.16 – End of Day Notes

What I did today: I woke up this morning after only four-ish hours of sleep last night. It’s been nearly a week since I’ve done that and it felt good to be back in my routine. I was able to do most of my writing projects early before the household stirred and it got noisy. I tackled my to-read list from the numerous challenges and bloghops that I belong to. I didn’t complete the list, but I did whittle away a huge chunk of it. I’ve yet to tackle the growing emails though. I am feeling tons better, not yet 100% but definitely better. My energy has returned.

What I learned today: If I am ever to complete the new poems I want to get written this year for a chapbook, then I must schedule the time for them. Yes, it has come down to that, because otherwise, I will just continue to procrastinate, dream, and do anything and everything besides write these poems. So I have scheduled two days a week for the remainder of the year to write them. Now I just need a theme.

What I am most proud of today: I am proud that I have taken the initiative to conquer my dream of a chapbook by the year’s end. No more excuses.

What did you do today? Learn any lessons? Have a reason to be proud? Share your thoughts with me in the comments!

#MondayMusings – The Power of Persistence

 

As a child, I was quite persistent. I had goals and was determined to achieve them. I wanted to graduate from college and be a writer. I worked hard, got great grades and was all set to make something of myself. Those plans didn’t pan out so well. I tried community college, hated my Business Management courses (mother was determined I would take courses to get a job straight out of college), dropped out, got married, lost a child, divorced, and roamed around like a nomad for several years. I didn’t make it back to college until I was nearly 24.

Somewhere along the way, I got back on track. I became persistent again. I excelled in college, earning three degrees and a Certificate of Advanced Studies. I was well on my way to realizing my dreams. I felt as fluid as a river, flowing along, cutting through rocks and boulders. Carving a path for myself. I was writing poetry, submitting my work, getting published and even won a local poetry contest, earning my first paycheck. A whole $50. But it didn’t matter, I was excited.

And then life got in the way again. Writing is hard. Earning money as poet is even harder. I ended up working several jobs to pay the bills, had very little time for writing and no time to submit my work. Instead of being a river, I was now the rock. Stuck in place, going absolutely no where. It would be years of working dead-end jobs, madness via mental illness, and another failed marriage before I budged.

Dreams have a way of nagging at you. They interrupt your sleep, pester you during the day, invade your thoughts, and creep up on you at unlikely moments. Dreams are persistent. Nearly two years ago, I gave up the rock and surrendered to the river. I had no direction and no path, but I was fluid again. I wasn’t about to let my dream die. And so now, my persistence is paying off. I am writing, constantly. I am not as concerned about publishing these days, that may come somewhere downstream. For now, I just want to go with the flow and see where it leads me.

Have you given up on your dreams? Or are you as persistent as a river? I would love to hear your thoughts.