I admit it freely. I am an intellectual snob. As I sit in my room listening to programs like Democracy Now! and watching historical documentaries on Netflix, I have to wear my earphones and turn the volume up full blast. Why? My father prefers programs like The Jerry Springer Show and wrestling where people do and say outrageous things just to get attention and their five minutes of fame, and since he is hearing-impaired, he turns the volume up as high as it will go (the kitchen, where he watches tv, and my bedroom are on the same floor level). My father (and my brother) find these programs entertaining, and laugh and joke about the stupidity of it all. Personally, I find it vulgar and distasteful and see no entertainment value from it at all.
This just further emboldens me to ponder how I ended up in this family. Was I adopted? No. Switched at birth? Not possible. The family resemblance is remarkable. Somehow, my brain became attracted to facts, figures and boring details. I think the section of my brain where humor dwells is damaged. Well, maybe not entirely. I love wit, satire and intellectual jokes. Actually, I love math jokes the most.
Hahahaha.. they kill me, they really do. Anyway, just needed to rant a bit as I was finding it impossible to hear Democracy Now! with the sound of people screaming and bleeping every few second coming from the kitchen. Lucky for you, my readers… or perhaps not.
Like me, Nikki struggles with anxiety, the inability to understand why and how it happens. Please read her story here. If you too suffer from anxiety, perhaps you can give her some words of wisdom. Comments are disabled here, please visit Nikki’s blog to leave comments. Thanks
I can’t tell the difference from my own ways of overanalyzing and anxiety. I start to wonder if they are connected. I am pretty sure they are. Last night was a hell of a night of overthinking, worry, concern, and you name it. The worst I have had in a long time. I still do not understand anxiety as it is new to me this year. It may sound crazy, but it frustrates me all the more that I don’t understand. I don’t like it. And if I dare to think about it, I have probably had it longer. I can identify the on start, and I have caught it and followed the plan to calm it down. But those times where it spirals out of control…like last night…is the worst. I could not stop it. I fell asleep off and on and each time I woke up it was…
This prompt presents a slippery slope for me. For years now, I have been trying to get away from “perfect” because it is a symptom of the OCD that plagues me. I would plan out my days from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I sought control and perfectionism over my plans and heaven help anyone or anything that derailed them, including myself. Unless you’ve spent decades enslaved to perfectionism, you have no idea how a prompt like this can shackle you again.
Through intense therapy, Mindfulness and spending a year focused on the word Acceptance, I have learned not to expect perfect days. Instead, I get up, go through my routines and allow the day to unfold as it will. I do have hopes for each of my days. I try to make it through the day by writing something, reading a book I am reviewing, spending some quality time with my dad, and watching something on Netflix or Hulu.
I can afford this because I lead a fairly simple life. I have no one to answer to but myself – no husband or children – so I can decide how much time I will spend doing any one thing. I have little stress, mostly just what I put on myself. And since there are some areas of my life where perfectionism still crops up (mainly my routines and writing), I can’t afford to pressure myself by inventing a perfect day. I’ll just take it moment by moment.
I’ve been following Prince Ea, a Spoken Word Poet, on Youtube for a while now because I resonate with a lot of what he has to say. For today’s Inspired! I’ve chosen his words on how detached we are from our loved ones and the world via cell phones and social media. He says…
You need not delete your social networks or destroy your cell phones, the message is simple, be balanced, be mindful, be present, be here.
How do you feel about Prince Ea’s message, dear readers? Let’s discuss it in comments.