Inspired! – 11/25/16 #NaBloPoMo #CheerPeppers

A little over a year ago when I first discovered Ho’oponopono on Youtube, the only teachers were Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Lin (the original teacher). Within the past seven months, two others have uploaded videos to Youtube teaching it. They are Mabel Katz and Jonathan Parker. I haven’t listen to them yet. I prefer to go to the source, which is Dr. Hew Lin. I like Joe Vitale’s teachings. He brought Dr. Lin’s Ho’oponopono to the masses and worked along side him to write a book.

So why bring this up under Inspired!? The simple answer is, Ho’oponopono is inspiring. We live in a world torn apart these days by an Us/Them mentality. It is crashing in on top of all of us, regardless of where we live. We all need some healing and Ho’oponopono can give us that. Ho’o (just going to call it that now since the word is so long to write and I am sick and lazy) teaches us to take responsibility, for our actions and others’ actions as well. Through it’s practice, you learn forgiveness and gratitude.

The practice can be a simple meditation (not sanctioned by Dr. Lin or Vitale, but one I found online last year):

  1. get comfortable – lie down on your back or sit with feet planted on the floor, shoulders back
  2. close your eyes and take a few deep cleansing breaths
  3. inhale deeply through the nose and say (outwardly or internally), I love you
  4. exhale through the mouth and say, I’m sorry
  5. inhale deeply through the nose and say, Please forgive me
  6. exhale through the mouth and say, Thank you
  7. Rinse and repeat for as long as you wish to be in a meditative state, or feel the need to continue saying the words (I would do this as I fell asleep at night and would awaken the next morning with the words still in my thoughts)

Some have asked, who are you speaking to during this meditation? It can be God, Gods, Yahweh, Allah, the Buddha, Your Higher Self, the Great Spirit, the Universe, the Great Cosmic Hoo-Haa – do you get the picture that the practice itself is non-religious, but because you are practicing it, it becomes deeply rooted in whatever religion or philosophy (or lack thereof) that you follow? Powerful, huh? *smiles*

Why do you need to apologize? Because we all make mistakes and we need to collectively be humbled by those mistakes and speak that we are genuinely sorry for them. This is part of taking on the mantle of responsibility, your own and others.

What if you have nothing to ask forgiveness for? For instance, you just went to confession and bore your soul to your priest. Do you still need to ask for forgiveness? The answer is yes. This is a collective forgiveness. You aren’t just asking to be forgiven for yourself, but for the entire world.

And finally, you open your heart to Gratitude, to be thankful to whomever you pray to, even to your Higher Self. It’s been scientifically proven that those who express gratitude on a daily basis are happier people. They’ve tapped into the collective consciousness of others and the Universe as a whole.

So, what is the end-game for doing Ho’o? You don’t have to target any specific area for forgiveness, just speak the words, Please forgive me.  This allows you to be responsible for yourself and everyone around you, and to be grateful.

I can attest to how powerful this practice is. I’d been estranged from my husband for over a year. Our marriage had crumbled and I’d moved from OK back to VA where I was born and lived prior to meeting him. The relationship involved emotional and physical abuse. He is a narcissist and I had 4 mental illnesses of my own to deal with. After I moved back home, I cut all ties with him, but it gnawed at me, the hatred I felt toward him. I blamed him for most of the failure.

I began the Ho’o practice. I did it nightly for months. As my heart opened to forgiveness and gratitude, I began to realize that we were both at fault. The first thing I did was forgive myself – for the painful marriage and my part in its failure. Then, I wrote to him, forgave him, admitting my own failures too. He was surprised by both my forgiveness and admittance. Finally, he admitted his parts in our failure, something narcissists rarely ever do. I had taken on both of our failure, asked forgiveness for them and expressed my gratitude for the both of us with this simple practice. I honestly believe that as my heart healed, so did his without his participation. That’s the power of Ho’o. My husband and I are now back to being the wonderful friends we were before the marriage  began. And although we are no longer in love with one another, we do love one another.

Here is a video of Joe Vitale explaining Ho’oponopono:

And if you want to hear Dr. Hew Lin speak about it, check out this series of videos

Linking up with Nano Poblano



Confessions and Thoughts on Hate

I have a confession to make. My family is racist.

This is hard to confess because I’ve always been an inclusive person. I believe in diversity and that all races should be treated equally.

It’s hard living in a household where the N-word is thrown around far too often. Just today, it was used twice. Once by my brother in relations to Black players in the NFL and once by my dad in reference to a Black player attempting to steal a base during a MLB game. They know how I feel about the use of that word, but since when has anything I care about deterred them? Never. Racism is embedded deeply in their hearts and nothing I say or do prevents them from being racists.

I have another confession. They are also anti-gay.

My family knows that I am bisexual and support LGBTQ rights. That doesn’t stop them from throwing around the word “faggot” often. Just recently, my dad said that he didn’t like Tim Kaine (the Virginia Senator who is now Hillary Clinton’s VP pick). Not because of Kaine’s politics, but because in my dad’s eyes, Kaine looks like a “faggot”. That’s his only reason for disliking the man. Doesn’t matter that Kaine is a straight man who is married and has children. Nope. Not in my dad’s eyes.

I’ve heard racial slurs and anti-gay sentiment in my household all of my life. I’ve even heard it from extended family members (aunts, uncles, cousins). Living with these people, hearing their disdain for anyone who doesn’t look just like them, has always caused me deep pain. I’ve spoken up, but my words fall on deaf ears. One of my cousins even called me a Commie for my inclusiveness. What she fails to understand is that Communists are not inclusive people either. The proper words would have been a Liberal Socialist, but you cannot tell some people facts.

And now the news is filled with hate, racism, bigotry, misogyny and anti-gay sentiments on a daily basis thanks to the recklessness of Trump’s campaign. These people are crawling out from under their hate-filled rocks in droves. Hatred is fueling violence everywhere in this country.

I am finding myself retreating more and more to my spiritual base. I have to surround myself with crystals, meditate, and practice Ho’oponopono constantly. This isn’t just the sin, evilness, or whatever you want to call it, of a few; we are all responsible. Collectively, we cannot continue to allow such hatefulness to thrive. We have to speak up about it and never stop fighting against it. Love must always triumph over hate.

Self-Improvement – Negative Thoughts

Annette over at Annette’s Place hosts a Self-Improvement blogshare. This week, she proposes:

I encourage you to write a post and link it back here to share with us some negative thoughts you live with and how do you place them under arrest?

I don’t have nearly as many negative thoughts these days as I have had in the past. So I am going to list the ones I used to have, the ones I still have and then how I combat them.

Past Negative Thoughts:

  • I am a burden to everyone.
  • No one could possibly love me.
  • I am fat and ugly.
  • I am a phony.
  • I would be better off dead.
  • No one understands me. Therefore, I deserve to be alone.
  • I have nothing of value to contribute to others.

Current Negative Thoughts:

  • My writing sucks
  • I’m still fat and ugly
  • I am still unlovable

It took me years of therapy to overcome most of those past negative thoughts. The current ones don’t creep in very often, thankfully. But when they do, what do I do? I keep a journal of positive and motivational quotes and read them often. I also switch to Mindfulness mode and will concentrate on one small thing until the thoughts subside. If both of those fail, I will put in some inspirational music or watch a good movie. If I still cannot relieve my mind of the negative, I do the Ho’oponopono meditation. Generally, the thoughts go away fairly quickly when I do that.

How about you, dear readers? How do you combat negative thoughts? Share your thoughts with me in comments.


03.25.16 – End of Day Notes

What I did today: not nearly as much as I wanted. I stayed up all night again last night, did some writing and then crashed around 8:30 am. Was back up by 12:30 pm because my sister promised to stop by and bring my grand-nieces today. She never showed up. I took an unexpected late nap due to a back ache and now it is nearly 11 pm and I guess I am up for a while again. Maybe I will get some productive writing done.

What I learned today: I thought I was over my resentment toward my siblings, but I guess I am not. My sister’s carelessness today just brought it all back to the surface. She makes promises and then doesn’t keep them and she can’t even be bothered to call. My dad sat around all day waiting for her to show up for his birthday (she never stops by on THAT day, always a day or two late) and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. And yet, he will forgive her. He always does. If it had been me, I would never hear the end of it. Not from him, or my siblings. Both of them can get away with anything, but I never can. I am so tired of being the responsible black sheep.

What I am most proud of today:  Nothing. I lost my cool and blew my peaceful mindset because of it. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get back there, but deep breathing didn’t help nor did meditation. I guess I will have to do a ho’oponopono session and clear it with love. *sighs*

What did you do today, dear readers? Learn any lessons? Have a reason to be proud? Share your thoughts with me in the comments!

10 Daily Currents – 03.22.16

It is Tuesday at 8:56 am and I am currently…

1. listening: to the horrible news of bombings in Brussels, the hum of my heater, and Catharine fussing at me to begin writing

2. eating: scrambled eggs and salsa

3. drinking: coffee with cream and stevia, ice water (see, I told ya I drink other things!)

4. wearing: a long purple lounger with sunflowers on it, and pink socks

5. feeling: disgusted by all of the hate in the world and the loss of innocent lives

6. weather: effin’ cold! about 35 degrees, a bit cloudy

7. wanting: to live in a hole somewhere until people can be nice again

8. needing: to direct some Ho’oponopono toward Belgium and France

9. thinking: “all we need is love, love is all we need”

10. enjoying: my after-breakfast mint (a menthol cigarette) and my coffee (surprised I found any joy this morning *sighs*)

The Sandbox Writing Challenge #27 — Can’t Let Go

This week’s challenge is What are you holding onto from the past?

Maybe it would be easier for me to list the things that I have resolved from my past. It took years of therapy, learning Mindfulness and Ho’oponopono for me to let go and forgive, not only others, but myself as well.

  • I have forgiven and spit in the face (mentally) of my Creative Writing teacher for telling me that I would never be a writer
  • I have forgiven my childhood sexual molesters for their deeds against my person and my mind
  • I have forgiven my 1st ex-husband for his abuse
  • Forgiven myself for the loss of both of my children to miscarriages
  • I have forgiven my family for their abandonment and disinterest, this especially includes my mother
  • Forgiven myself for distancing myself from my family
  • Forgiven my estranged husband for our failed marriage and realized and forgiven myself for my role in it as well
  • Forgiven myself for my mental illness that ruined my one chance of true happiness
  • Forgiven myself for losing that one person who would have given me that true happiness and have forgiven her for leaving
  • Forgiven an old friend for her ways and rebuilt that friendship
  • and I’ve forgiven myself for all of my trampy relationships throughout my life

I’ve even recently let go of two relationships that I know I will never recover and am working on forgiving them and myself for our roles in letting the relationships suffer.

So I am not sure that I am still holding on to anything from my past that I need to let go. Like I said, I’ve had intense therapy, nearly ten years of it. I learned to say what made me angry and then I learned to let it go. I wrote letters to my tormentors, read them aloud to myself in a mirror and then burned the letters. This was a year long process. Then I learned to stay focused on the here and now through Mindfulness. This past September or October, I began practicing Ho’oponopono and cleared out the remaining issues. Now when I get upset or angry, I don’t let the issues fester, I just clear them immediately. It probably helps that I have a faulty memory and if there is anything left out there to clear, I may not remember what it is anymore.

How about you? Are you holding on to a past event that is eating away at you? Ready to let go? Let me know in the comments.


Saturday 9 – Sorry


Saturday 9: Sorry (2015)

Unfamiliar with this week’s tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is a plea for a second chance. Are you good at forgiving/forgetting?

I didn’t used to be very good at forgiving. I didn’t hold grudges long, but I wasn’t always the first to say “I’m sorry.” Then I learned about Ho’oponopono and since then it is easier for me to say those words and mean it.

2) Justin asks his girl to “forget this.” What have you done/said recently that you wish could just be forgotten?

I wish I could just forget about having that Coke Royale (Coke+Crown Royal) the other night. My brain has been mush ever since

3) Mr. Bieber says he needs just 6 hours sleep every night. How about you? How much sleep do you require to feel sharp?

On average, I get by with 4-6 hours, but require a nap later in the day.

4) Justin prefers D&G underwear, which can cost as much as $102/pair. Sam may be crazy, but there’s no way she’d spend that much on underwear. What’s something you’re willing to splurge on?

If it’s clothes, something made of leather. If it books, a first edition. Otherwise, I would only splurge on paintings or sculptures.

5) He may be picky about underwear but not cuisine. He loves Big Macs. If we were going to McDonald’s, what would you order?

Nothing, maybe bottled water.

6) When it comes to healthier fare, Bieber has told fans he enjoys snacking on bananas and grapes. What do you reach for between meals?

Avocados or almonds

7) Performing in Germany, Justin Bieber told a girl who approached the stage, “Ich liebe dich” (“I love you”) and she fainted. Have you ever fainted?

Yes, but I wouldn’t have if Bieber said that to me… Prince, maybe, but definitely not Bieber.

8) As a kid, Justin was teased for being one of the shortest in his class. What do you recall being teased about in school?

Too many things… mostly about my physical appearance and because I was a quiet bookworm.

9) Random question: Will you be watching this weekend’s Super Bowl?

Most definitely. Go Panthers!

As 2015 comes to a close…

As my readers may remember, I did a similar post last year, focusing on what a year of Acceptance taught me. I also posted my chosen word for 2015: Gratitude. This post will be along those same themes.

What a year of Gratitude has taught me…

Wow! What an incredible year it has been! By showing gratitude, I have opened myself up to so many blessings this year: love, forgiveness, and spiritual ascension.

When January rolled around, I wasn’t sure what would happen by focusing on Gratitude for a whole year; however, I soon discovered that I was not the only one doing this. People all over Facebook were focusing on this wonderful concept. I will admit that I was a bit skeptical at first, not of the process, but of my willingness to accept (what I learned last year) whatever would come my way as a result.

For the first few months, I kept a daily record of all that I was grateful for. This allowed me to use Gratitude as a habit. After those first few months though, I only wrote down my gratitude list on rare occasions, but I would wake up each morning and verbally state what I was grateful for that day and end each night with what I’d been grateful for that day. This became the practice that I followed for the remainder of the year.

So here are some highlights of my accomplishments throughout 2015, which I believe are a direct result of simply being grateful for life, those around me, and for my own self.

  1. During the month of April, I completed my very first 46,000 word novella. I have mostly been a short fiction and poetry writer, so this was a huge accomplishment for me.
  2. As many of you know, I held a lot of animosity toward my husband and pretty much blamed him for well… everything: mostly our failed marriage and my mental state. Some time in September, I began researching a Hawaiian healing technique called Ho’oponopono. During this time, each night as I went to sleep, I would repeat these words: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” As I repeated these words, I would get flashes of everything I’d ever done to others or others had done to me. I continued repeating these words, night after night (and still do!). Finally, I took 100% responsibility for my role in my marriage and mental state as well as 100% responsibility for my husband’s role. Forgiveness came easily after that and I am happy to report that he and I are now speaking once again and have moved to a great place in our relationship. We have come to the realization that we are in better places apart and able to help others as a result.
  3. Using this same healing technique, I was able to mend an issue with a friend who I had parted ways with back in June. We are now in a good place again as well.
  4. In late August, I took control of my health by beginning a new way of life and eating. My health has greatly improved as a result of this.
  5. I have been working with my Reiki Master and others with spiritual ascension. I felt the Shift strongly on 11.11.15. It was amazing!
  6. Overall, I have felt love so strongly this entire year. I have let go of negative influences and embraced light and love. Any time anything negative does creep into my life, I shower it with love.

For anyone interested in Ho’oponopono:

And if you would like to listen to Joe Vitale’s book ZeroLimits:

So there you have it… my incredible grateful year!

This has also been a year of research for me. Here are just a few topics that I have been exploring:

  • Low Carb/Healthy Fats lifestyle
  • The causes of Diabetes and how to reverse it
  • Anything WW2
  • general research on vitamins and minerals
  • topics related to The Secret
  • The Kennedys, with a special emphasis on Robert Kennedy
  • possible courses I want to take on Udemy
  • alternative health and healing techniques

And now, I give you my word to concentrate on for 2016: ABUNDANCE. And in order to activate this, any time the Universe/Cosmic Hoohah/Muses, etc. present an opportunity to me, instead of asking myself “how will I accomplish this?” I will just say “YES” and allow it to come to me through Inspiration and Abundance. My mantra for this year is: “I Am Abundance. Everything around me and within me is abundant.”

Thank you for spending time with me as I reviewed my grateful year.

Love and Blessings…

*Note* The idea for a Word for the Year actually came from Laurel Regan over at Alphabet Salad back in 2014. She has chosen her new word again this year and has called on others to join in. If you’d like to participate, just create your own blog post and click on the blue froggy below to add yours to the reading list.