Creative Questions 14 – Talents

CQ14 – Have you been inspired to refresh or improve a talent recently?

One thing that I love doing is sketching with charcoal. It used to bring me great joy and I would just sketch whimsical things that popped into my mind. Charcoal can get expensive to purchase though and for a long time, I couldn’t afford art supplies. So my husband would bring me bits of charcoal from wood he’d burnt out in the backyard in his pit. This worked just as well as expensive charcoals. But since I left my husband and moved back to Virginia, I haven’t done any sketching because I’ve had no charcoal and money is definitely a lot tighter these days than before.

A few weeks ago, I was emailing with my husband and he asked if I wanted him to send me some bits of charcoal. I don’t know how he knew, but I had just been thinking about that very thing just a few days prior (he always seems to zone-in on stuff like that for some reason). So to my delight, a package arrived from him on Tuesday with a whole baggie full of bits of charcoal. I’ve been running around with blackened fingers ever since. Quite happily too. *beams*

I don’t know if this really answers Kate’s question this week, but this is a talent that I have refreshed/renewed lately… not sure I have improved on my skills though *laughs*

The Sandbox Writing Challenge #41 — What in the World???

Still behind? You betcha, but I am fighting to catch up. This week, Calen offers an unique question for us to ponder over and one that I have given a lot of consideration to:

What other worlds entice you?

I absolutely love this question, so why has it taken me so long to write about it? Well, I don’t know. I read it on Tuesday and have been pondering over it now for a couple of days. I can honestly say that I don’t want to know any other worlds where too much chaos or extreme noise is prevalent. So no big cities or loud clubs for me. I prefer quiet, peaceful and serene settings, darkness and sometimes the light. Anywhere I can find that tranquil mindset. So I guess rural settings, the mountains and seascapes entice me the most.

However, this morning, something caught my eye – a small winged insect strolled across my desk. It just meandered there in the open space for a few moments and then when it came across something foreign to it (an object on the desk), it stopped, put out its antenna and “felt” around before approaching it. I sat and watched this creature for quite a while. I was transfixed by its caution and then delighted as it hurried toward the object, climbed upon it and went on about its merry way. It reminded me of how curious and fascinated I’ve always been with the insect world. I’ve often wondered what insects think of us humans, if they think of us at all. They just seem intent on going and doing wherever or whatever they’ve set their minds to go and do without thought to what may be in their way. When they approach an obstacle, they find away to tackle it – by going around, over it or taking another path. It also reminded me that we humans think too much instead of just doing. So yes, the insect world definitely entices me. It also gives me a lot of pleasure just watching bugs crawl or fly around.

Circle of Friends – Week 5

As usual, I am way behind, but these are important questions and I feel the need to answer them. For Week 5, Raili’s theme is friendship with the Self. She gives us the following questions to consider:

How do you show yourself  that you’re friends?  Where in your mud map do you sit?  Are you a special friend?  Have you ever given yourself a gift? Is there something unique about your friendship with yourself?

I haven’t always been friends with myself. In fact, I’ve often been my own worst enemy. At times, I still am. This is part of my mental illness and I have to work extra hard to keep my demons at bay with meditation, affirmations and mindfulness. Some days I succeed and other days I don’t. It is a constant battle, but it is one that I am willing to keep fighting.

When I am friends with myself, I tell myself loving and kind things. I allow the beauty of the world around me to influence my actions. I absorb love and I give out love – like breathing. In my mud map, I am the center of my universe. This isn’t always a good place to be, as I can become quite selfish at times with others around me. However, as one who has been a people-pleaser for the majority of my life, it is also an important place for me to be. It reminds me that the only way I can be of service to others is to first take care of myself.

I love the next question – am I a special friend? This one gave me quite a chuckle. I really don’t know why my initial reaction was to laugh, but I did. Oh yes, I am special alright! Touched in the head. Crazy. A bit ‘out there’ in the grand scheme of things. I guess that was my first reaction to the question. But silliness aside, I do have a special relationship with myself. I am a quiet and reserved person most of the time. I am also an intellectual snob. I love that I get intellectual jokes and have a good chuckle with myself over them. I ‘get’ me more than anyone else ever has. And since I am an introvert and live in my head most of the time, it is hard to explain things to others about myself. So having myself as a special friend allows me an outlet that many extroverted people may not have or understand because they look for others to validate them and I validate myself (though not always in a good way *sighs*).

Ah, this question about gifting again… Generally, I gift to myself more often than I accept gifts from others. Most people have no idea or refuse to take the time to even know what to give me. I tell them, but they don’t listen. It can’t really be that simple, right? Books, candles, journals, pens, cheap beaded bracelets, anything strange or macabre, crystals, anything dealing with ravens, etc. These are really truly the things that I love. Why is that so hard for people to understand? So yes, when there is something that I find that I know I will love, I buy it for myself as a gift. Better to buy for me than sit and ponder over something I dislike that someone else has bought me and wonder why the hell they thought I would like it.

The last question is probably the hardest – is there something unique about my friendship with myself? Honestly, I don’t know. I am such a strange duck anyway – weird, nerdy, geeky, eccentric, odd… it’s probably hard for others to even understand me, and thus hard to friend me. If I didn’t have myself as a friend, I’d probably have even less friends than I do have. I just enjoy my own company. I make myself laugh and cry. I know what I like and don’t like and I don’t have to be pretentious with myself. It’s probably the most honest relationship I’ve ever had with anyone. If that makes it a unique one, then so be it.