What a year of ACCEPTANCE has taught me…
In January, instead of setting goals or resolutions, I decided to choose a word to meditate on for the entire year. The word I chose was ACCEPTANCE. Since I am a worry-wart and have high anxiety issues, I wanted to see what would happen if I just accepted things as they came along without allowing anxiety and worry to surface. At first, it was a difficult assignment. I was resistant. I was so addicted to worry that I didn’t think accepting things would work. Slowly though, as the year went by, I was able to let go of worry and allow acceptance into my life.
The biggest change came when I accepted the fact that my marriage was never going to get better, that I was no longer and hadn’t been in love with my husband for a long time, and that I would be better off leaving and beginning my life anew somewhere else. This acceptance would come with a whole set of new worries that I had to deal with: could I afford to leave, would I be able to make it outside the marriage on my own, would I be able to heal from the internal and external wounds I endured in that marriage, and many more. As I slowly made plans to leave, I was able to accept each of those new worries and let them go. I was able to take what little savings I had left and leave. I am on a very small fixed income, but I know that I am able to do anything I set my mind to and survive. And I am accepting and letting go of the wounds from my 13 yr marriage.
I feel so much stronger this year than in years past. I am definitely happier now and I able once again to enjoy my life. I am connecting again with family and friends who mean the world to me. And I am accepting my new role of a single woman again.
So yes, this has been an amazing year of acceptance and letting go. I still have far to go on my new path, but I now know that accepting things as they come, learning from the experiences, forgiving and letting go of the worry and anxiety has been the best therapy for me this year.
I’ve also chosen my word for 2015: GRATITUDE. I plan on keeping a daily journal about what I am grateful for throughout the entire year. I believe that gratitude is healing. It allows one to dig deep into their soul and feel. I hope 2015 will be a wonderful healing year for myself and my family and friends.
Love and Blessings…