Scared, but Hopeful

For all the crap I had to put up with on Paranormal Date, I did meet one incredible person there. His name is Brian and we’ve been emailing back and forth for nearly a month now. No long drawn out emails, except a few in the beginning. Most days, the emails are just support messages back and forth to one another. He lives near where I do, about a 2 hr drive away, but he works out of town a LOT. At the moment, he is in Ohio, but in a few days, he will be headed to Texas.

So far, I’ve not noticed any red flags with him. No signs of narcissism. He seems to be a down-to-earth country boy, very polite (he begins each email with “Miss Lori”), and seems to genuinely care about me. He even shows interest in the things that I enjoy. For example, he is not a Mets fan, but tonight he kept me company through the whole game by writing me adorably funny emails.

So why I am so scared? Well, there are a couple things about me that I haven’t shared with him yet. One is a vice, the other has to do with my appearance. I don’t know how to breach either subject with him yet, so I’ve said nothing so far. He is the first guy who has shown interest in me since I left that disaster of a marriage a year ago and I don’t want to break the magic just yet.The vice may not put him off because it was part of my profile on that dating site, but this appearance issue may be a deal-breaker. I sincerely hope not, but you never know what small thing may scare someone away.

I will remain hopeful though. We’ve finally gotten around to sending endearments back and forth in our emails and we finally exchanged phone numbers. Keeping my fingers crossed.

At 49, I almost gave up on the idea of having a happy life with someone else. Brian has given me that hope again. I think I could even fall in love with this guy. Pushing through the doubt and keeping my chin up.