#joyfuljan – Day Twelve

For today’s #joyfuljan, I find joy in a little green pill.

No, it is not something gifted to me by an alien. Nor is it something harmful like a recreation drug. It is Elavil or Amitriptyline as it is also known.It is a prescription antidepressant drug for restless legs and, in my case, restless feet.

So why am I joyous about a prescription drug? I have severe neuropathy in both of my feet. If you do not have this, you will never understand the excruciating pain it can cause. Some days my feet just feel numb, like I am wearing several layers of socks. Other days I get shooting pains in my feet and toes. Most of the time my feet are just icy cold. But the worse pain comes when they are warm. I know, sounds a bit ironic, but it is true. When they are warm, they actually feel like they are on fire. An internal fire. Blazing hot. And nothing cools them down. No cooling gel. No soak in cold water. Nothing, except Elavil.

This burning mostly takes place in the winter time. I have no idea why. I go to bed with cold feet and sometime during the night, they get warm and begin burning. I am lucky to get two hours of sleep before this occurs. Most of the time, I just say Fuck It! and get up. But when I am truly exhausted, like last night, I force myself to take an Elavil. I say force because I do not like the other side effects from it: dry mouth, extreme sleep, and grogginess the next day. After tossing and turning for hours this early morning, I finally broke down and took one of those little green pills. The effect was almost immediate. Thankfully. This was around 4 am. I did not fully awaken again until 5 pm. Extreme sleep. And now grogginess. But for now, no burning feet and that is truly Joyous!

What are you joyful about today? Let me know in the comments.


 

Throughout the month of January, I will be celebrating Joyful January with Satya and Kaspa over at Writing Our Way Home