“Friends” – What Are They Good For?


In recent months, I have reconnected with an old high school friend. After a bit of a tiff years ago, we hadn’t spoken since the late 1990s, but seemed to fall right back into our friendship as though it had never ended. She’d been going through some rough patches in her love life and recently had a run-in with the law, resulting in an upcoming court date. I’ve been there for her through all her recent woes, tried to be understanding, give advice when asked, offer solutions, guidance, or just a shoulder to cry/lean on.

Lately, she has been distant. I know she is worried about her upcoming court date, so I’ve tried to give her as much space as possible, just leaving her encouraging messages once or twice a week on Facebook, to let her know I am thinking about her and if she needs me, to call. I did my first of the week message posts today, but got an unusual response – “Please stop.”

I was dumbstruck. Still dumbstruck. I haven’t a clue what I’ve done wrong. All I have heard from her is that no one has been there for her or really cared and when I’ve tried, this is the response I get? It feels like someone sucker punched me in the stomach. I’ve listened to her cry over a lost love at all hours of the day and night. Listened to her complain about the relationship she is in now. Worried with her over her upcoming court date. Never once I have I told her to shut up and let it go, or not been there to listen. And now, I feel like I’ve wasted my time. I don’t want to feel that way, but I do. And I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong.

Should I just cut her off completely? Not answer if she calls? Just let her go, again? I am so confused, so hurt, so… *sighs*

I swore I’d never let another person hurt me this badly again. Swore I wouldn’t get attached to anyone enough to let them rip out my heart. And yet, I’ve done it again. Time to just go crawl into a hole and ignore the world again.

5 thoughts on ““Friends” – What Are They Good For?

  1. I’m so sorry Lori……since the death of my husband, I’ve ‘lost’ numerous ‘friends’…. the same ones who said call if you need anything, we’ll always be there for you…well lets just say the crickets are louder ….. it hurt but as time has gone on I’ve realized that their part in my journey has ended……….((((((HUGS))))))

    • Thank you, Linda! You gave me a whole new perspective on this, Perhaps she and I only reconnected for a brief journey and now that journey is over. That is a great way to look at it, even if it still hurts some to lose friends. I am sorry you’ve lost so many since your husband died, but I love that you’ve remained so strong and determined on your spiritual path. (((Hugs))) Thank you!

      • :)))) yes it still hurts, but I know my life’s been touched by many an Earth Angel that reaffirms to me the goodness in people!! I’m glad I could help you look at it from a different angle!!! (((HUGS)))

  2. I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you. May I gently suggest it may not be about you at all? Clearly the lady is going through a tough time. One more “demand on her attention” as she may see it might be more than she can deal with. Quite often people in such circumstances become quite self-involved, and no wonder. I wish you both the best.

    • Thanks, Lillian. I had considered that. It still hurts though, especially when she has told me a dozen times or more that I was the only person she could talk to who understood. Now I feel alienated, cut-off from her completely with just those two simple words. Thanks for your kindness.

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