12/16/16 – The Devil
The message of the Devil is a warning, a cautionary tale. The Devil is imperfect balance recklessly pursued. Anything in the extreme – eating, working, sexual activity, exercise – leads to an unbalanced life. Take head and moderate your behavior. Keep watch for obsessions in your life. Do not let any belief or practice overshadow all other aspects of your life or you responsibilities to yourself or others.
Be aware of being so afraid of pleasures out of fear of addiction that you repress or deny all desires, even healthy ones.
Curse ye, tarot! Get ye out of my head! Okay, enough of the archaic. But seriously, I’ve been thinking about my food obsessions lately and how to counter them. I am so addicted to carbs it is not even remotely amusing these days. Cookies, cake, bread, bagels, candy, potatoes, biscuits… I cannot get enough of them. Seriously, I can eat a bagel and an hour later I am into donuts or cake or eating a ton of Milky Ways. Then a short while later, I want pasta or french fries. I eat and eat and eat until I go to bed and I am never satiated. I also know this obsession is reeking havoc with my blood sugar levels. I don’t even take my readings anymore. I just take my meds the same each day and pray it is making some headway, but I know it isn’t. I also spent months (9!) on a Low Carb, Healthy Fats diet and was hardly ever hungry. In fact, I ate one meal per day. But I always missed carbs and eventually went off the diet. *sighs* I also know how healthy I felt eating just vegetables and meat with the healthy fats of coconut oil, butter and olive oil. I want to get back to that!
Want to know how I know I’ve done harm to my body by going back on carbs? I’ve lost muscle mass again in me arse and sitting is now painful. My joints also ache, especially my hips, which means sleeping on my sides is now painful as well. AND I have to pee, constantly. I know I am damaging my body. I know it! I am such an idiot sometimes.
So my goal is to go back to LCHF beginning on January 1st. No more carbs. Just healthy meat, fats and vegetables. Because of my current dental situation, I cannot eat raw vegetables and cooked ones are depleted of vitamins, so I plan on doing blended vegetables and eating more sauerkraut and kimchee, even if I have to make my own! I plan on making vegetables (mostly leafy greens) about 75% of my diet and keeping meat minimal, just enough to keep my muscle mass up. And lots of healthy fats!