12/14/16 – King of Cups
You are fortunate in your achievements. You have accomplished much, and built a good career or business for yourself. Perhaps you have a stable, loving family life. These things give you much satisfaction, but there is a longing in your heart. It is as if in gaining power and achievement, you have lost your creative side. Seek an artistic or creative outlet, and nurture your emotions.
Be aware of focusing on what you don’t have. If you look at only the things that are missing in your life (such as personal, creative projects), you can grow bitter and resentful. You may neglect your existing obligations if you give into pouting and self-obsession rather than a workable solutions.
This card is hitting close to home today. The past few days, I’ve been working on what I want to accomplish next year, not only with my writing, but also in how I conduct myself for an entire year by choosing my Word of the Year.
I’ve been mulling over the list of writing projects that I keep in a notebook that is now nearly ten pages long. If I were to complete 4-6 of them a year, I would still have enough for the next ten years. And, I keep adding to the list. After a while, I stop focusing on what I’ve already accomplished and mourn over what I haven’t. I just keep telling myself, if only I could do one project a month, I’d complete twice as many in a year, and in turn wipe out my list in five years instead of ten. And then I remind myself that I get sick about four times a year which lasts for nearly a whole month, so there’s four months a year that I get little accomplished unless I push myself, at times, too far. And of course, there is always my mental state, which I never know from day to day how it will affect my work. And then I mourn some more.
I end up cursing myself for being such a list-maker and and trying to plan ahead. Why can’t I just be a pantser with my life like I am with my writing? And then I remind myself that I do tend to plan out my writing a little bit in the beginning and then let the stories tell themselves. There is no changing how I conduct my writing, nor my life. It is what it is.
Which brings me to choosing my Word of the Year. This year’s word didn’t work out so well, or perhaps it worked too well. I will leave that discussion for a later time. However, I am thinking about just not doing a word this upcoming year. I cannot think of something satisfactory to work on, since I am still mourning over lost bits of abundance from this year (Abundance was my word for 2016). I need to stop that before I can even move forward. And yes, I am feeling a bit bitter and resentful. I still have 17 days to get over this before the new year begins. I need to definitely focus on my achievements and stop longing over what has not been done. Let go and move forward.