I am not sure how I missed last week’s challenge, but I did. Was this during my pneumonia bout? I think so. Anyhoo… Calen has give us another set of pondersome questions from Philip Simmons’ book Learning to Fall.
How would accepting yourself for who you are change your relationship with YOU?
And thinking back to the person(or persons) you thought you could change, would accepting THEM for who they are change your relationship with them? How?
I’ve pretty much accepted myself for who and what I am. I’ve tried to change myself in the past for a few I had relationships with and all it did was end in misery. I have to be my authentic self, faults and flaws included. I think I am probably the most comfortable with my own self now than I have ever been in my entire life. And that’s a good thing since I mostly only have myself to talk to these days *laughs*
As for the one I tried to change, the estranged husband, I do now accept him for who he is. He is becoming a she and I think that is his authentic self. He hopes to begin taking hormone therapy next year and have the sex change in 2019. That will change the dynamics of our relationship a bit. For now, it isn’t a huge problem. If we decide to stay married, same sex marriage is legal. That could all change under this new presidency though and we could be forced to divorce. Our relationship at the moment is based on mutual respect. There is companionly love for now. We are no longer in love with one another and we are 1000 miles apart.
I think all relationships benefit from acceptance, of one’s self and of others. It keeps us from having to wear masks, be someone we are not, and then struggle with ourselves to be authentic. Unfortunately, too many people try to change others to suit themselves. What I find ironic though, once someone has changed you to be who they think they want you to be, the challenge is gone and some lose interest. I think that is why so many people cheat on their partners. They go out seeking someone like who you used to be so they can begin the cycle all over again. Such a sad state of affairs.
4 thoughts on “The Sandbox Writing Challenge #67 — Can acceptance REALLY change relationships?”
“What I find ironic though, once someone has changed you to be who they think they want you to be, the challenge is gone and some lose interest.” Your conclusion makes perfect sense to me because Drollery is SO much like that. There are things he wants and then once he has them he never gives them a second look. I can easily say that extends to his relationships with people as well. It’s been a major issue for us in our marriage. Great post, Lori.
It’s definitely a challenge to live with someone who acts that way. You have so much strength for sticking it out with Drollery. I couldn’t handle the estranged one acting that way.
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Such a complex web of relationships we weave in our lives..