Final Thoughts on the Election

This is The. Last. Time. I will use this blog for anything political. In fact, I am cutting ties with all news for the foreseeable future. I won’t read it and I certainly won’t listen to it. If it sounds like I am apathetic, I am not. I am saving myself from four years of triggers from a Narcissist. That’s what Trump is and since I lived with one for 13 years, I know exactly how he is going to treat this nation.

Here are some traits of Narcissism:

  1. They don’t show their true selves. In fact, they wear many masks and change them rapidly to be whomever they think someone wants them to be at any given point. This is not to benefit YOU. It only benefits THEM. It is part of their “charm” package. It’s how they reel people in.
  2. They don’t incorporate security into relationships. Instead, they like to keep you on your toes, guessing their next move. This is crazy-making and they are masters at it. You will never feel safe.
  3. They never allow you to see them as the bad guy. In other words, they are always the good guy because they always blame YOU.
  4. They don’t like to lose control. Narcissists are control freaks and they will do whatever it takes to stay in control. If they lose control, they get extremely angry and you become the target of the rage, even if you weren’t the cause of the loss of control.
  5. They won’t let people prove them wrong. They will argue that they are right until you begin to believe it too. They will deflect, defend, make up lies, and follow you around making their point until you either agree or pass out from exhaustion.
  6. They don’t see others as equals. They see themselves as the greatest, the smartest, the best at everything they do or say. If you try to prove yourself as their equal, they will destroy your life by any means possible.
  7. They never have sympathy.  They can feign something that looks like sympathy, part of not showing their true selves, but make no mistake, they have no true sympathy or empathy. They will laugh while you cry. They won’t care how hurt you are or how much pain you are in. If it doesn’t concern them, they won’t care.
  8. They don’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them. Did they buy you something nice? They want something. Did they compliment you? They want something. They are always looking for what can give them the most benefit or the best deal. If you give them what they want, you’ve opened yourself up to abuse because eventually, they will come collecting.
  9. They don’t take orders from others. This is because they think they know everything and you are so insignificant that you cannot possibly contribute anything new.
  10. They don’t like to admit they have feelings. Many people say they have no feelings, but you can bet they do. They are actually more fragile than you are and more capable of covering up their weakness. Slights can turn them into raging maniacal madmen/women.
  11. They don’t listen. They are just waiting for you to shut up so they can make it all about them. What they want to say and what you will have to listen to. Remember, they already think they know everything.
  12. They either don’t stick around, or they will get rid of you if they become bored. So long as you entertain them on some level, they are there. The moment you stop, they are out of there. They love and crave attention.
  13. They don’t pick unattractive friends. Those closest to a narcissist will usually be quite beautiful and of the upper-crust of society, at least as far up as they can get. It has to benefit them in some way.
  14. They don’t normally give compliments. Instead, they prefer to be complimented. If they do compliment you, they want something in return.
  15. They don’t like to be polite. In fact, they speak their minds no matter how rude or demeaning their words are. Since they are far superior to everyone else, they do not need to abide by polite society’s rules.

Do any of those sounds like Trump? If you think so, be prepared to be collectively abused for the next four years. Right now, he is infatuated with all the idolization he has received in his rallies. He will lovebomb the American people for a while, so long as they keep feeding his ego. If he is called out for misbehavior, he will gaslight us as he has throughout his campaign by denying facts, deflecting, and continuing to lie no matter how much evidence is stacked against him. This is to make the American people second guess whether there was something there there.

I lived with the anxiety and crazy-making for 13 years. When I finally escaped that life, my nerves calmed down. However, this election cycle, especially in the last 6 months, has only heightened my anxiety. I was definitely triggered. I cannot afford to be engaged in this nightmare of a world the US is about to embark upon. For my own sanity, I have to let go. I will continue to be an advocate for Mental Health, but not in a political way.

So, this is me, signing off on politics. Disengaging from the crazy-making to come. Good luck, America. You asked for this with your vote.

11 thoughts on “Final Thoughts on the Election

    • I think you are right, Keith. And that is a good title for a new anthem. I am so ashamed of my country right now. I cannot believe that hate, bigotry, misogyny, xenophobia, and racism won. I thought we were a better country than that. *sighs*

  1. I got a call from my daughter today who lives five miles outside of DC. She is frightened about the whole immigration thing. She is obviously not white being from India. Been a citizen since she was seven. But would that save her from scrutiny, she wonders? What was I supposed to tell her?

  2. I’m gutted and I’m not even American, in fact am far away from the States. Was thinking to visit for the first time next year. But am hesitant now. Have written about my feelings at my own wordpress and all I can add is, there’s always hope. All the best to everyone!

    • Thank you, Alvan. No, I would stay far away from the US for the next 4-8 yrs. We will be going through some horrible times and outsiders won’t be welcomed (nor will a lot of insiders if Trump has his way). I wish you well.

  3. Here here! We know these types of men all to well. I’m just in shock. I love you. We need to surround ourselves in things that will help us get ready for what is in store. I’m not getting into political debates Trump speaks for himself I guess this shows you how many like minded people are out there still living to make people feel horrible.

  4. If you haven’t yet, before you go completely, you might want to listen to Hillary’s speech. She is amazing – more gracious and stirring in defeat than her opponent was in victory. As for me, I’ve been “with her” since I was 22. At 47, I’m proud and honored to be #StillWithHer….I’m the loyal type.

    I’m the daughter and sister of narcissists….and I couldn’t agree with you more. Ironically, it was my narcissistic parent who imbued me with the wisdom that actions speak more loudly than words. I won’t be taken in – 7 decades of Mr. Trump’s actions tell me far more than I need to know….

    I intend to get more involved with politics, at the local level. I don’t know what form that involvement will take; I only know that I’m no longer willing to be essentially a spectator. Not having much in the way of financial resources, I’ll have to find other ways of serving…and I will.

    May you find some peace or comfort today, and going forward, my friend.

    • Thanks, Shanjeniah. Hillary sent an email of her speech and I read it. It was a beautiful concession, one I doubt Trump would have made had he lost. I was a Bernie supporter who switched to Hillary when she won the nomination. I just see all of the progress we’ve made going down the drain and I cannot deal with it. I have too many mental illnesses to deal with and cannot allow myself to be triggered on a daily basis. So I am disengaging. Good luck!

      • As for me, I was a Hillary supporter all along. Coming from an abusive family dynamic, Mr. Sanders’ frequent rages didn’t seem that different than Mr. Trump’s; I prefer calm and thoughtfulness. I’ve loved having Mr. Obama as our leader – he’s got a very calm approach. Not weak, but calm and steady and considered.

        I see a lot of that in Mrs. Clinton, as well.

        The kids and I watched the speech together. It was beautiful and gracious, and showed how wonderful a speaker she is when she comes from the heart.

        It made me wish that our culture and political system hadn’t forced her into such a tough shell, so that she could have been free to share more of herself more of the time.

        I tend toward optimistic realism. What I see is a swing of the pendulum. Often, growth is a frightening process, and not a straight and uniformly-paced affair. I think those who were made too scared by our progress, or by the fact that white people will not be the majority in this country in a matter of decades, have reacted more out of that fear than anything else. But many are likely to learn that there are worse things than becoming more diverse and more equal as a nation.

        With a lot of ugliness dragged and paraded out into the light of day, we’re probably, finally, going to have to face it. There’ll be space for learning and new growth.

        Right now, a lot of introspection is happening online. There’s also a tremendous amount of support – from practical self-care to outright activism.

        I hope that you can find some peace and healing in these troubling times, because yours is a strong and clear voice, and I think we’re going to need all of those we can get.

        For myself, I’m committing to do more to make this world better on a personal level.

        Know that I’m holding you in my thoughts, my friend.

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