The Sandbox Writing Challenge Review #4

This is the final review from Roberta Allen’s The Playful Way to Knowing Yourself, where Calen has gotten the questions we’ve been answering. I always get anxious during the reviews, but I know they are necessary. (If you want to read all of my challenge answers, you can do so here) Just a reminder, I am still far behind and this was taken from August 30th. So, let’s begin…

In the last 15 exercises, did any of your answers surprise you? Why?

• Challenge #46 – As I said in the post, I try to be a very inclusive person, so to realize that I hold negative views about anyone really rocks me to the core.
• Challenge #44 – At the point in time, I was deeply depressed and had just started taking psych meds again, so nothing inspired me. I don’t feel that way now.
• Challenge #43 – The question was, what makes you feel whole? I came to the realization that emptiness is my wholeness. Very Zen of me, eh? Not really. I was speaking through depression.

Is there any exercise that felt more charged than others? If you’d like, carry on with that post and share your additions with us.

Challenge #40 is probably the most charged of all of the exercises. We were asked, what makes you a survivor? Anyone who has been a victim is told that no, you aren’t a victim, you are a survivor. To me, that is just a platitude to make us feel better, and although I’ve survived a great many things in my life, I do not feel like one. In fact, due to my mental illness, I still often feel like a victim, mostly of my own demons.

Were there any exercises that felt incomplete to you? If so, complete them now. Stop when your energy is spent. Then please share them with us.

The only exercise that feels incomplete is Challenge #44, the one about inspiration. There really are a lot of things that inspire me – music, poetry, inspirational stories of others’ battles and being able to overcome them, the leaves changing in Autumn, the sun setting over the mountains outside my window, and last but not least – the genuine kindness, compassion and empathy of the Human Spirit.

What insights about yourself (if any) came to light in these last 15 exercises?

It is difficult for me to be positive when I am depressed. It is also difficult for me to go deep within myself and explore when I am so focused on my own personal tragedy.

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Calen asks us to further explore – Now is the time to consider how to use what you’ve learned about yourself. Answer the following questions.

Who might benefit from what you have discovered?

I think anyone who is out there exploring their inner self and how one relates to the world would benefit from what I’ve discovered. Certainly, people with mental illnesses.

What actions might you take now that you wouldn’t have taken before?

Two things – I need to learn to see the world from others’ perspectives and not be so stuck in my own bubble. And, I need to find something, anything to inspire me even when I am deeply depressed.

What can you now accept about yourself?

I am a bit of a hypocrite, especially when it comes to people I find intolerable when I portray myself as an open, inclusive person.

What else would you like to know about yourself?

Lordy, there isn’t enough time in the world to discuss this. There is still way too much about me that I need to know and understand. I am currently exploring why I am so OCD. I think it comes from having an authoritarian mother who expected perfection from her kids.

Now that you’ve tapped into your energy, can you think of ways to tap into it more often? Are there thoughts, such as “it’s not serious,” or images from this book or your imagination, that you can focus your attention on, to help you feel more alive?

Mindfulness is still my best hope to keep tapping into my energy and feel alive. I just need to remember to practice every day. Today, listening to Disturbed is energizing me.

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Well, my lovelies. There is my completion of this part of the challenge. Calen moves on to other books and questions in the weeks following this, so I will be working through them too. I began this challenge with question #24, so eventually, I may go back through and do questions 1-23. Again, if you’d like to read all of my answers, click here.