The weather has finally turned quite chilly here in Virginia. I am wrapped up in a blanket, have a cup of steaming hot cocoa and, although still feeling poorly, I am ready to tackle another of Calen’s questions. Today’s is from August 23rd and it is a humdinger of a question.
I have no wealth, nor many worldly goods – a few paintings and my writings that I may pass along to one of my great-nieces, if any of them show an interest. I guess if I leave anything of significance behind, it might be some of the wisdom I have garnered over my lifespan. For what it’s worth, I have a bit of knowledge about a great many things, but no huge knowledge about any one thing. Well, that may not be a completely true statement. I know a great deal about the Confessional Poets, but I doubt seriously anyone would care to have that knowledge passed down to them. At least not my family. None of them so far have shown the same interest in poetry as I have. One of my great-nieces has begun to show interest in my witchy things – tarot, stones, herbs, etc. She may want my Book of Shadows eventually, if I ever complete it, but if she is still a teen when I pass on, I doubt my niece would let her have it.
The biggest issue that I have is that the few things I have left in my life will not be wanted by anyone. My family is mostly conservative and overtly religious. I am liberal, artsy, and spiritual. My nieces and nephews were raised in those conservative values, they tend to care more about money and/or what sport is playing on the television, and they haven’t gone to college. They didn’t even have a desire to go to college. Each of them started families very young. Which leads me to my great-nieces and nephews who are being raised in the exact same culture. Will any of them want to go away to college? And even if they do, I doubt it would be a liberal college where they would get to think, expand their minds and become aware.
My family is not made up of thinkers. They are merely doers. I don’t say that as a bad thing; it’s just a whole different world that I’ve never felt comfortable living in. Half of my day is spent thinking and being aware of everything around me. I don’t want to be offensive to others and so I choose my words and deeds carefully. I would be mortified if the first thought that popped into my head came out of my mouth. This is not so with most of my family.
So these question of what will I leave behind, what will my legacy be and who will I give it all to is not something I can really think much about at the moment. I will have to wait and see later through the years if anyone in my family shows an interest in my wisdom, my art, and my writings. Perhaps all that I am will merely end up in a trash heap somewhere, some day. And maybe I will be fine with that.