The Sandbox Writing Challenge #51 — Movin’ On!

*cough* *sneeze* *cough* I am muddling through another of Calen’s challenge questions, even though my head feels like it is about to explode from a cold. No worries, dear readers, I have tissues nearby. This question is from Aug 9th and it has really made me think…

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What keeps you going?

I am a goal-setter and usually if I have specific goals laid out, I will stay pretty motivated. I also have several mental illnesses (Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and OCD) which often derail my goals. When I am manic, I fulfill my goals in record time. When I am depressed, I don’t give two shits about goals. Most of the time I can balance out my mania and depression and still get a lot of things accomplished. I managed to do that while I was in college and for a few years after college. But I’ve had long periods of non-motivation too, like those years before college (I was a late-to-the-game college student. I didn’t go to college until I was 25) and that long 13-year marriage to a Narcissist where my life was a constant downward spiral resulting in 7 suicide attempts.

These days, there are several things that keep me going. As a coping skill, I’ve learned to use Mindfulness to keep me grounded and focused (thank you, Kathryn – my therapist). When necessary, I take psych medications (although I will often go off of them after a while because they fog up my brain and I cannot accomplish anything). But these days, the biggest motivator that I have is the belief that I have something to give to the world – definitely through my words, but possibly also through my actions and deeds. And although it may take me a few months to overcome my demons, I keep coming back and I fight through it until the demons sweep me away again.

8 thoughts on “The Sandbox Writing Challenge #51 — Movin’ On!

  1. Pingback: Sandbox Writing Challenge #62 — Just supposin’ you had… | Impromptu Promptlings

  2. Pingback: Sandbox Writing Challenge #51 — Movin’ On! | Impromptu Promptlings

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