#WeekendCoffeeShare: 5/21/16

If we were having coffee, I would invite you to the kitchen table. It’s another chilly morning and raining again. I’d offer you some croissants and espresso and tell you that the croissants aren’t homemade, but I did get them from a little deli. They are hot, fresh and buttery! And there’s strawberry jam to go with them. I’d also clue you in on how I keep the espresso from tasting bitter.

“I add just a dash of cinnamon to the grinds when I brew it. Even my dad will drink it this way!”

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that we finally got the garden laid down. An endeavor that usually only takes a couple of days, ended up taking over a week, between rainfalls and cold temperatures. We had to purchase plants this year because the cold kept us from starting from seeds, so hopefully even planting this late will still yield a nice harvest.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how miserable I’ve been the past few days – fevers, chills, tummy issues, elevated blood pressure, and little to no appetite. I have no idea what’s causing it – a cold or flu bug, or if I am just rundown for whatever reason.

“I spent the majority of the day in bed yesterday. Completely unusual for me,” I’d tell you.

And finally, if we were having coffee, I would thank you for listening to my complaints and bag you up a few croissants to take home with you. “Hopefully we can do this again soon,” I’d tell you as I handed you an umbrella and waved goodbye.

If we were having coffee, what would YOU tell me? Let me know in comments!

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This delightful coffee share is brought to you by Part-Time Monster and friends.

Saturday 9: What Hurts the Most (2006)

 

Saturday 9: What Hurts the Most (2006)

Unfamiliar with this week’s tune? Hear it here.

1) What hurts Sam the most is her sole, since she just found that earring she thought was lost by stepping on it with her bare foot. How about you? Any aches and pains to report?

At the moment, both of my feet are in pain. Burning and nerve-twitching from neuropathy.

2) What’s the last thing you misplaced? Did you find it?

My blood pressure meter. Nope, it is still missing. I’ve searched everywhere for it. Finally had to borrow my brother’s meter.

3) Lead singer Gary LeVox sings that he’s not afraid to cry. When is the last time you shed a tear?

Tuesday night when I watched NCIS and had to say goodbye to the character Tony DiNozzo.

4) Gary auditioned for another country group, Little Big Town, but didn’t get in. Considering how successful Rascal Flatts has been, he’s probably not sorry. Tell us about something you thought you wanted, but later weren’t so sure.

This happens to me almost every time I want chocolate. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love chocolate and crave it often, but after I eat it, I know my blood sugar will go sky-high and I will regret it. I’m sure this doesn’t really answer the question, but it’s all I’ve got.

5) The country group has their roots in Columbus, Ohio. What else is Ohio known for?

Botched election tallies? I really don’t know much about Ohio.

6) Lead guitarist Joe Don Rooney married model and former Miss Georgia, Tiffany Fallon. Many major pageants give prizes in the talent, congeniality and swimsuit competitions. Would you prefer to have exceptional skills, a great personality, or a terrific body?

Exceptional skills. Looks and personality are so over-rated.

7) 2006, the year this song was popular, was a very good one for tennis pro Roger Federer. He reached the finals in all four Grand Slam tournaments, and won three. What’s the last game you won? (Yes, Words with Friends counts.)

Rummy, a couple of months ago. As a general rule due to traumatic events regarding games, I rarely play them. Cards now and again, but that’s it.

8) Actor Tony Shalhoub won an Emmy in 2006 for his portrayal of detective Adrian Monk on Monk. Who’s your favorite TV detective?

Sherlock Holmes as portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch on the BBC show, Sherlock.

9) Random question … You’ve just won an all-expenses-paid trip but now you have to choose: Carnivale in Brazil, the Bordeaux Wine Festival in France, or the Running of the Bulls in Spain?

I don’t do carnivals and I think the running of the bulls is just madness, so I guess that leaves me with the Bordeaux Wine Festival in France. It’s a good thing I love wine.

Fessin’ Up Time

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about the relationship that I have with my ‘selfish’ friend Lisa and the demands that she puts on me. As some of you know, the reason I started the Hump Day Poetry thing on A Whispered Wind was because Lisa issued me a challenge. In some ways, it was indeed a challenge, but in other ways, it was more of a guilt-induced demand. She saw that I had writing goals lined up for the entire year – some fiction and some poetry. She much prefers my poetry to my fiction and grumbled about how little poetry I would actually be writing this upcoming year. I tried to explain to her that it was difficult for me to switch back and forth between a fiction mindset and a poetic mindset, so if I was writing fiction, I wouldn’t be writing much poetry. She used the “what about me?” card. But if I truly loved her, I would write poetry, just for her. And that’s when she came up with the idea of me taking one day of the week to write a poem just for her. Reluctantly, I agreed.

I should have said no. I know my writing schedule for the year. I know the demands it will be making on me. I know how switching back and forth is difficult for me. So why did I agree? Partly because I didn’t want to hear her whine about how I didn’t love her enough to do this for her once a week. And partly because my word for the year is Abundance and I made a promise to myself that when opportunities came knocking, I would rise to the occasion. Especially if they were writing related. Still, I should have said no. What started out as a whimsical endeavor has become a soul-sucking one. I dread every Wednesday that rolls around. I become moody and dark, and these emotions last for several days. I don’t want to talk to her on the phone and I don’t want to read her emails. I’ve grown to resent her for pushing this on me.

So when I wrote last week’s poem, it encompassed everything that I’ve felt about writing these poems just for her each week – all of the anger, frustration and resentment. After reading it, she sent me this message late that Wednesday:

Well are you really have trouble in
finding the words that you can write
a poem each week sorry to hear this
& I will release you from writing a poem
just one more & you are free as a bird.

And this is where my frustration has grown. Knowing that I am struggling, knowing how I feel, she still wants one more.. one more before she releases me from this challenge.

So I expressed my concerns about this with my friend Claire and she gave me this to think over:

You did tell me you were diagnosed “borderline personality” right? Remember common borderline reaction/behavior: Snap judgment ~ snap-pullout from relationship to save oneself ~ running scared, resulting in abandonment of a friend who may (or, granted, may not) have your best interests at heart.

Ask yourself these questions:

Did you offer to help? even insist??
Is this how she has taken advantage?
Look closely, deeply…

So I’ve been doing as she suggested. And here is where it is time to make a confession. Some of the anger and frustration over this is MY fault. It all boils down to me not being able to say NO and then getting pissy when I have to actually do what I have promised to do even when I know I don’t want to be doing it. And I think because I know some of it is my fault, this is why I can’t bear to talk to her or read her emails. But I don’t think this is a snap judgement issue at all. Lisa and I have had many battles in the past over her demands. She only has time for me when it suits her (i.e. when she has no one else around to keep her company or entertain her) or when she wants me to prove to her that I love her. And no, I don’t think she has my best interests at heart.

I am left with quite a dilemma here. Do I continue to give into her demands and remain friends? Or do I set myself free? Only time will tell. I still have much to ponder here.