Calen’s question this week really puts things into perspective for me. This should be an interesting write.
Foremost, I hunger for understanding. I’ve never cared if someone accepted me or not. I didn’t care if they liked the way I dressed or how I lived my life. I was going to do things my way, regardless. And for most of my life, I did just that. But I’ve always craved understanding. You don’t have to accept me as is, but at least understand why I am the way I am. Take the time to get to know my story, to understand why I am such a loner, why I enjoy my own company, why I wear dark clothing and make-up (though not as often as I once did), why I would rather spend a day writing or researching than with you chatting about things that only interest you. You see, I am quiet and reserved, a bookworm and nerd, I value intellect and knowledge above all things. Yes I am strange, odd, eccentric and quirky. But did you take the time to understand those things about me?
I also hunger for the written word. I am a bibliophile and collector of words. I read constantly and I write just as often. I love the meanings of words, where they came from, how they were first used. I love how they form sentences and paragraphs and books. I love writing them and saying them out loud. And I can express myself better through writing than orally.
I also hunger for solace. For peaceful moments where nothing affects me. To be taken away from life’s bitter pill and just BE. Meditation often gets me there, but sometimes I must withdraw from the world, hide in a cocoon of my own making, regroup, recharge, and rejuvenated.
And finally, I hunger for darkness. It’s not what you think. I don’t want to be evil or monstrous. I want to understand the darkness so that I will know light when I see it. But in that hunger for darkness, I do enjoy dark music, literature, poetry, movies and real life dark moments. Maybe I am trying to understand my own dark psyche or that of those who do relish in evil and monstrous things.
How about you, dear readers? What do you hunger for? Share your thoughts with me in comments.