03.25.16 – End of Day Notes

What I did today: not nearly as much as I wanted. I stayed up all night again last night, did some writing and then crashed around 8:30 am. Was back up by 12:30 pm because my sister promised to stop by and bring my grand-nieces today. She never showed up. I took an unexpected late nap due to a back ache and now it is nearly 11 pm and I guess I am up for a while again. Maybe I will get some productive writing done.

What I learned today: I thought I was over my resentment toward my siblings, but I guess I am not. My sister’s carelessness today just brought it all back to the surface. She makes promises and then doesn’t keep them and she can’t even be bothered to call. My dad sat around all day waiting for her to show up for his birthday (she never stops by on THAT day, always a day or two late) and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. And yet, he will forgive her. He always does. If it had been me, I would never hear the end of it. Not from him, or my siblings. Both of them can get away with anything, but I never can. I am so tired of being the responsible black sheep.

What I am most proud of today:  Nothing. I lost my cool and blew my peaceful mindset because of it. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get back there, but deep breathing didn’t help nor did meditation. I guess I will have to do a ho’oponopono session and clear it with love. *sighs*

What did you do today, dear readers? Learn any lessons? Have a reason to be proud? Share your thoughts with me in the comments!

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16 thoughts on “03.25.16 – End of Day Notes

  1. And yet you find it in you to dig deep and re-balance yourself. Others’ behaviour is not a yard stick by which to measure ourselves.Stay true to your Self. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you all 🙂

  2. (((((Hugs))))). Bless your heart for trying…….I’m the eldest and the OutKast and perfectly content to be so. The toxicity of the relationship within my family is poison…I’ve worked to hard to rid myself of it….I’d rather be healthy and whole without them, then to be sick and broken with them. I do hope you’ll feel better today Lori!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

      • Lori, I got so tired trying to make things good between us while all the time they bitched behind my back, told lies about me and told me I wasn’t worthy! With my chronic pain and mobility worsening I knew I hardly had energy for me, let alone their BS so I stopped caring so much. Anyway they clearly didn’t care for me when I could no longer walk properly. The last straw came when our father passed away (angina, heart), and they told everyone I killed him! Shortly after they on different occasions threatened my life (while high).

        Btw, I was a good daughter and closer to my dad although both parents are/were not particularly warm with me.

        Please enjoy the time with your dad, I miss mine every day.

        Happy Easter! 🙂 🐣 🐇 🍫

      • OMGoodness, Faith. I am truly sorry you’ve had to endure all of that. I hope you are away from all of them now and at peace. If not, I wish you peace. I am trying to enjoy as much time with Dad as possible. Hope you and yours have a blessed Easter too hun.

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