This week’s challenge is What are you holding onto from the past?
Maybe it would be easier for me to list the things that I have resolved from my past. It took years of therapy, learning Mindfulness and Ho’oponopono for me to let go and forgive, not only others, but myself as well.
- I have forgiven and spit in the face (mentally) of my Creative Writing teacher for telling me that I would never be a writer
- I have forgiven my childhood sexual molesters for their deeds against my person and my mind
- I have forgiven my 1st ex-husband for his abuse
- Forgiven myself for the loss of both of my children to miscarriages
- I have forgiven my family for their abandonment and disinterest, this especially includes my mother
- Forgiven myself for distancing myself from my family
- Forgiven my estranged husband for our failed marriage and realized and forgiven myself for my role in it as well
- Forgiven myself for my mental illness that ruined my one chance of true happiness
- Forgiven myself for losing that one person who would have given me that true happiness and have forgiven her for leaving
- Forgiven an old friend for her ways and rebuilt that friendship
- and I’ve forgiven myself for all of my trampy relationships throughout my life
I’ve even recently let go of two relationships that I know I will never recover and am working on forgiving them and myself for our roles in letting the relationships suffer.
So I am not sure that I am still holding on to anything from my past that I need to let go. Like I said, I’ve had intense therapy, nearly ten years of it. I learned to say what made me angry and then I learned to let it go. I wrote letters to my tormentors, read them aloud to myself in a mirror and then burned the letters. This was a year long process. Then I learned to stay focused on the here and now through Mindfulness. This past September or October, I began practicing Ho’oponopono and cleared out the remaining issues. Now when I get upset or angry, I don’t let the issues fester, I just clear them immediately. It probably helps that I have a faulty memory and if there is anything left out there to clear, I may not remember what it is anymore.
How about you? Are you holding on to a past event that is eating away at you? Ready to let go? Let me know in the comments.