Would wish for a second chance…

Beautifully written piece about regrets and the true meaning of love.
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Life leaves room for a lot of wonderful memories and a lot of heart-breaking regrets. If I had to choose one moment of my life to return to, it would be a conversation I had with my mother in the waiting room of the hospital where my dad passed away.

peritoneal-dialysisDad was dying from congestive heart failure because his kidneys were failing to keep ahead of the water that was surrounding his heart. The doctors’ “Hail Mary” play was to try Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis (CAPD). This is the only type of peritoneal dialysis that is done without machines. You do this yourself, usually four or five times a day at home and/or at work.

Despite dad’s weakened condition, my sister, brother, and I were so excited that there might still be a chance to turn things around for dad, and dad, himself, had indicated through a note that he…

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Share Your World – 2016 Week 2


for Cee’s Share Your World

Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? 

I most certainly do and even though few believe me, I have a bit of “insider” information that I don’t share with many. Maybe some day I will be open to sharing it with the world.

How many places have you lived? You can share the number of physical residences and/or the number of cities.

Oh my goodness! I think I need a sheet of paper to write them all down…

As a child/teenager, I remember living in at least 4 different places in two separate towns.

As an adult, I have lived in at least 30 (that I can remember) different residences, some my own places and others with friends and family.

I have lived in 3 different towns and 3 small-ish cities.

If you given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do?

Oh my… I guess I would pay off my student loans. I’ve been out of college since 1999 and I still owe an exuberant amount of money.

The Never List: What are things you’ve never done? Or things you know you never will do?

It would be far easier to list the things I have done.  I am not an overly adventurous type, so I’ve done more less adventurous things. As for what I know I will never do… bungee jump, hang-glide, climb anything, or look over a canyon wall. I don’t do heights well.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Last week, I was grateful for connecting with some bloggers I haven’t read or chatted with in about 8 months. This week, I am looking forward to connecting with some new bloggers.

#joyfuljan – Day Twelve

For today’s #joyfuljan, I find joy in a little green pill.

No, it is not something gifted to me by an alien. Nor is it something harmful like a recreation drug. It is Elavil or Amitriptyline as it is also known.It is a prescription antidepressant drug for restless legs and, in my case, restless feet.

So why am I joyous about a prescription drug? I have severe neuropathy in both of my feet. If you do not have this, you will never understand the excruciating pain it can cause. Some days my feet just feel numb, like I am wearing several layers of socks. Other days I get shooting pains in my feet and toes. Most of the time my feet are just icy cold. But the worse pain comes when they are warm. I know, sounds a bit ironic, but it is true. When they are warm, they actually feel like they are on fire. An internal fire. Blazing hot. And nothing cools them down. No cooling gel. No soak in cold water. Nothing, except Elavil.

This burning mostly takes place in the winter time. I have no idea why. I go to bed with cold feet and sometime during the night, they get warm and begin burning. I am lucky to get two hours of sleep before this occurs. Most of the time, I just say Fuck It! and get up. But when I am truly exhausted, like last night, I force myself to take an Elavil. I say force because I do not like the other side effects from it: dry mouth, extreme sleep, and grogginess the next day. After tossing and turning for hours this early morning, I finally broke down and took one of those little green pills. The effect was almost immediate. Thankfully. This was around 4 am. I did not fully awaken again until 5 pm. Extreme sleep. And now grogginess. But for now, no burning feet and that is truly Joyous!

What are you joyful about today? Let me know in the comments.


Throughout the month of January, I will be celebrating Joyful January with Satya and Kaspa over at Writing Our Way Home