Cicadas in the sorrow of night

A most moving and endearing tribute to a parent lost to cancer.

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Insights From The Edge

IMG_0221Cicadas buzz in the sorrow of night. Late summer heat and humid fear vibrates on my skin. Insomnia breeds paranoia and terror.

Dad’s gone. Two days left of this visit. My first one back since his death. This is not a night, or a day, but an in between. A purgatory. As my life is purgatory. I remember another sleepless night in this bed a year ago. They’d found the cancer that killed him in the frozen dead of winter. We were hopeful then. We sat at dinner, over Mom’s vegetarian bbq. He was in a good mood as they discussed the spot on his pancreas. God would heal.

It was surreal.

Later, abandoned by sleep and haunted by the future, I wrote about my fear, just like tonight. I cried. Just like tonight. I feared losing him when there was so much left to say. Not specific things. Not…

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