Today, instead of celebrating my 15.5 lb weight loss, I am sitting here crying. I told my dad about it and his only comment was “where?” He did this to me previously when I told him I had lost my first 5 lbs after only being on a LCHF diet for 2 weeks. I sighed and just allowed it to slide. Later in the day, I told my brother about my weight loss and he just nodded, and again my dad said “where?” and I just exploded. This is why my mother always gave up on diets because instead of words of encouragement from my dad, he would always say things like “where?” or “turn around and you will find it.” I remember her being so discouraged that she would just give up trying.
Why is it so hard for people to just say kind, encouraging words? Why not tell someone who is trying to do something with all of their might “congratulations” or “I am proud of you”? What is it about us humans that we cannot find that loving kindness within us?
This is not the first time my dad has treated me this way. When I was in college, instead of saying he was proud of me, he would say “when are you going to get a real job instead of being a professional student?” When I took a job working for Alstate as a computer tech, instead of saying he was proud of me, he said “all that book learning and this is the best job you could get?”
But it isn’t just him… my mother never praised me for anything. My siblings have never praised me for anything. Strangers and acquaintances have encouraged me more than family and close friends. I’ve seen family on Facebook sharing all kinds of stuff from other family members and friends but not once has any of my family ever shared a poem I’ve written and posted on there. I wrote a 46,000 word novelette and posted the URL to it on Facebook… no one shared it and to date, only one of my family members has even read pieces of it. All of this is enough to make me want to quit my family… can you divorce a family? I so wish I could.
Somehow though, I’ve always managed to stand on my feet and keep moving forward. I refuse to give up on my weight loss. No amount of negativity is going to spoil this for me.
The takeaway from this – please, please, please… encourage your loved ones every day for even the smallest of accomplishments. Rally behind them on their goals. Show them loving kindness!